American Music Club “Firefly”
Mark Eitzel “Firefly” (Live)

On their now out-of-print 1988 album California, bad-luck alt-rock critic’s darlings American Music Club put an ironically upbeat, mellow spin on “Firefly.” It is, after all, a song of transience. It’s an ode to the few moments we’re allotted with the beautiful things in life, a theme that naturally carries an undertow of sadness.

And then the Club’s frontman, Mark Eitzel, was writing as a gay man in late 80s San Francisco– devoting a portion of that record to laments at his friends wasting away, eulogies for his friends who died. To be fair, the group pretty much denies pigeonholing, and it’s not my intent to belittle with a label. It just is what it is.

So there’s a bit of that old whistling-through-the-graveyard feeling as the mandolin plunks away and the steel guitar does as much freewheeling as keening beneath the rock arrangement. But then again, what better tribute than to turn mourning into mellow pop gold?

On the other hand, the solo acoustic take that opens Mark Eitzel’s 1991 Songs of Love Live is much more in touch with that place of loss. Stripped to the raw, direct marrow of the song, this “Firefly” bares all. Eitzel puts us right at the core of that moment when the inevitability of goodbye overcomes the comfort of the now. Even the wry chuckle as he muffs the guitar part around 1:50 seems tinged with sadness.

Well, you know I’m a sucker for this kind of thing. I can remember picking this disc up in February of 2000. I had recently discovered that the previous year’s tax bill was going to be financially crippling, and so swore off music purchases as a way to tighten the belt. But, ah, temptation: one spin of “Firefly” at a Hear Music listening station, and I made my only exception to that policy up through April 15, overpaying even.

Another part of me sort of wonders if I don’t go to this kind of unalloyed sad-sack, beautiful-loser jive as some sort of emotional porn. The liner notes to Songs of Love contain a show review apparently taken from one Brit music rag or another, which pointedly mentions that Eitzel breaks down into tears at one point during this set.

There goes my internal monologue: Sad equals deep, happy is frivolous. But the world is fucked up enough; I don’t need to seek out more reasons to cry. No, wait. The world is wonderful, and seeking out reasons to cry is a waste of time.

I guess I’m a little conflicted on this front.

In the end though, “Firefly” is a wonderful song, in any form. The trick is to find the comfort and catharsis in this secondhand sadness. Or just to enjoy the tune.

Eitzel on Eitzel, from elsewhere in the Songs of Love liner notes: “what the hell, and when my life is finally summed up in a collection of four letter words this is what they’ll refer to most often.”

Mark Eitzel (w/ members of American Music Club) (?) played Silverlake Lounge Nov. 28.
California at GEMM and at Amazon.
Songs of Love Live at Newbury Comics.