The Bee Gees “Craise Finton Kirk Royal Academy Of Arts”

I’m all false starts today, and finally settled on sharing a Bee Gees tune. These aren’t the Bros. Gibb of white suits and testicularly-constricted falsetto–although, for the record, the official Paper Covers Rock policy states that disco does not, in fact, suck.

In 1967 on the aptly titled 1st, it seems the boys’ highest ambition was to make a really good psych pop record mimicking their heroes the Beatles.

It worked.

Because “Craise Finton” seems to be riding a bouncy, old-timey vibe–call it dancehall/vaudeville–I’m guessing they had the Cute One in mind as a musical template. However, the lyrics artfully, if obliquely, connect the dots between “Nowhere Man” and T.S. Eliot.

All this and a chorus more or less guaranteed to rebound around your brain for the rest of the day. It’s not exactly a revolutionary technique, marrying sad lyrics to happy music–c.f. 60% of Motown–but there’s still something fun about that essential irony.

Although a label like “sad” is a tad bit simplistic. If I’m reading correctly what’s going on here, Mr. Life of Quiet Desperation has shuffled off this mortal coil. He’s travelling on as planned “with a mere step in the mountain to a light.” And why else can’t anyone find him?

The afterlife, it turns out, is a big upgrade for him.

Ah, my shaken faith; I wish I could be so hopeful in contemplating mortality.

The Studio Albums 1967-1968 on Amazon.